An admission

Sometimes I feel like I’m acting like a self-righteous know-it-all writing any “how to do X or Y” blogs.  Truthfully I only know how to do it MY way most of the time (hence why I love linking other, sometimes more knowledgable blogs), and that’s by far not the only way at all.  Most of the time I’m just purging ideas in the hopes that someone will benefit from them, but probably the main reason I try and share all this shit is because it’s created an enormous amount of happiness in my life and I want to encourage people to express themselves and not feel ashamed, embarrassed, or limited by their situations to do so.

I sometimes wonder if I should actually invest a lot of money into some high-end software/hardware and really “learn” how to play music.  I don’t, after all.  As I drunkedly exclaimed at a local music awards to some red carpet lady interviewing the musicians, “I PLAY COMPUTER.”

I’m not a musician.  If I am I’m not that great as I can’t even tell you what fucking key any of my songs are in (I think “G”, apparently.  Sometimes “C”…maybe “L”).  I guess I’m an effective ARTIST in the broad sense.  It’s gotten me where I am today, so why deny that?

After I debate the merits of “going legit” and “becoming a real musician” I realize, frankly, that a) I have fun doing what I do so who the hell am I really trying to impress, and b) I’m broke, so fuck it.  What I do works for ME, and maybe ONLY me, but why mess with it just to potentially gain, what, a more slickly produced clubtrack?

Fuck that, and I mean that with no disrespect to those who do and CAN produce that stuff.  It’s just not me.

I realized recently (or maybe just reminded myself) that most of the artists/performers/musicians I truly admire and idolize never made money doing this.  Most of them never played to more than 500-1000 people and none of them are living in huge houses that the spoils of their art earned them, yet they mean the world to me.  I think it’s important to understand that just because you admire and respect an artist doesn’t mean 99% of the rest of the world has even heard of them, and that’s fine.  It doesn’t matter.   I suspect most of the musicians that mean the most to you have never been on the cover of Rolling Stone or even mentioned in the magazine at any great length.

Personally, I’ve become more interested in controlling my message, art, and distribution of it than actually becoming successful in the traditional monetary sense.   I also see it as a great honor and responsibility since I got so lucky doing this that I want to inspire “the masses” (all 3-400 of you:)) to do this as well if you want. 

I’m just one guy with one voice, maybe louder than some but no more or less important.  I’m surprised I don’t get challenged more for what I say, because often I’m like “Wow, nobody called me an elitist asshole or a ‘music socialist’ or a fucking moron”.  Sometimes that actually worries me a bit, because I’m just spouting off and I’m hardly an authority on anything at all.

So yeah– think for yourself, let your limits be your inspirations, tell anyone who says you suck to eat it and improve just to show them they’re wrong, and buy a couple of my tracks or CDs so I can keep doing this shit without having to worry about my fuckin’ bills a little less.  Patronage is fun that way, and supporting the efforts of those who mean something to you monetarily means just as much as a nice email or an encouraging comment.  Walk the walk of support, don’t just talk.:)

And thanks for reading my babble.


2 responses to “An admission

  1. Yes. Yes. Yes.

  2. You dirty music socialist.

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